So, as the year, this horrendous year of 2014 finally comes to a close, I must say it has been a ride. Through this year, I have seen far more drama than I thought I would ever see, I have had a good job appear to get better only to be told the axe was coming down, financial roller coaster worth getting six flags to turn into a ride and I couldn’t be happier to tell a year to kiss my beautiful, brown ass goodbye.
So, let’s take it from the top.
January allowed me to see my boyfriend on the other side of the country which was lovely. February saw some work with my seasonal job. April saw plans to see my boyfriend for a second time for the year.
May saw said visit only begin with drama and end with more drama that I am pretty sure he wouldn’t appreciate me divulging to a bunch of strangers. Suffice it to say that matters are dealt with for the time being and it wasn’t within our total control.
June saw a nice quiet summer time. July, was the total opposite. I worked a lot during the summer, pulling many weeks straight with 8, 12, and 16 hour shifts in no particular order nor with any particular care for one man’s health.
All is okay, until October wears and and the bosses say the plant is shutting down. Effectively everyone but 50 (out of 400) will be permanently laid off in December. Work doesn’t slow, instead it remains steady through November into December slowing to a halt come the end of the second week.
I am permanently laid off Dec 19, 2014 from Olam Spices and Vegetables, Modesto.
Such relief. I have been looking for a job for over a year and, I have been saying it for a very long time, I was bored there. I had no real challenge, no mental stimulation, absolutely monotonous. I made good, money, did excellent work, even made a policy change or two. I had an impact and was someone the supervisors could count on. 6.5 years and this was the first year I mad 1400 hours and made over $30,000 (gross).
I finally laid my hands on my brother after he made a scene in November, heard my Mother cry for the first time in decades, and decided that I am no longer surprised at any state of the world.
At this point, I might start keeping track of how many schools get shot up, how many teens decide to suicide due to bullying, and how many times I dodge the bank account bullet.
To celebrate the coming of 2015 is an understatement. If I could, I would clasp it’s hands, ask it to sit down, get comfy, pour some champagne and tell it that it has arrived exactly on time. I am galvanized to death of those whom I do not know, began to realize my idea of Utopia, what I want from this gift of life I been bestowed.
I know a million and one phrases I want to tell a small group of people, I want to understand what it is I am truly capable of and, if anything at all, I want to work with these hands that have pulled me through this horrible mess somehow intact.
I look through not only 2014 but every year I have managed to control anything and decide that while my problems are important, as much as any other person’s, that my problems are my problems. I know them, where they come from, how they affect me and what they might do. I understand them. While some may wish that they lived someone else’s life, I can honestly say that I have never wished for such a thing.
Look back on this year especially has shown me that I am made from all the adversity and challenges that have been endowed to me. I have been though the ringer, raked along the coals and proverbially keelhauled through many a great issue.
I have diffused situations, not cared for many people, watched others and learned where I could learn. I continue to learn, I continue to read and educate myself on something somewhere however strange, random, irreverent and inconsequential it may seem. Strange information has come in handy before and may do so again.
I have been absolutely scattered, both mentally and physically, I have been tested mentally and physically, and I have to say that I think I got through it all okay.
It’s been a hellish year, a year of just the absolute worst that I have seen and I can’t wait to see if 2015 will be a worse bear or if it will go easier on me. Chances are it will be the worst yet and will challenge my capabilities without remorse simply because it would be boring if it did otherwise. Every year, I will continue to grow stronger and better at whatever it I do.
For now, I will focus on what few plans I have set for myself and try to see them through as best I can. 2015, come sit and let’s sing Ode to Joy as we, myself, the audience, see what happens next.
I'm not all there, but here I am. I seem to be the farthest out there when it comes to thoughts. I guess that's why my name looks like Pluto.|
All questions have answers. All Answers should be questioned.