SpeakYou know what I'm feeling, don't you? That nervousness, that apprehension of not just superficial change. It should have been too easy to do. I have done it so many times before I knew what to do and how. But this time, for some reason, it didn't go as far as it should have. For some reason it stayed on the surface.I had to work hard to get it down. I had to make sure it was going to stick. I had to find a mean to work with and I did. I found the mean and now all I have to do is word it properly.When I do so, I will speak softly, mind myself and talk without interruption. I must do so fervently and militantly. Doing otherwise defeats the purpose of making sure everything is set. Concrete, when disturbed during its curing process is weakened and fragile.I will take a deep breath, start from the appropriate beginning and end with the appropriate finish. I don't know what will happen after that, but I will smile as best I can if I haven't already.No one is going to like what I am abou
GreedWhy did it seem so easy? Why was it so easy to accept? Why was it so easy to change like that? There was no debate, no second-thought, no double-take. It came to me, it was there, and then it went away.I knew what I thought about it. I know what my disposition was about it. I know what I decided about it.But now?What do I do now?What do I do about it. I want it back and I want it forever. No
forever can't possibly be long enough. And it can't be an imitation, it has to be what it was then and if it isn't that, then it's nothing at all.I never thought I wanted it; at least, not as bad as it turned out to be. I mean, before I just thought I wanted it, no big deal. When I got it, I wanted it more and I wanted it endlessly. It was like warm water running over my shoulders or a cold sweet drink without fizz.I wanted it all the time. I wanted it so much more when it stopped. When it came back, I consumed and consumed and hoped I would never get full. I felt that part of my stomac
Fleeting Thoughts"What?"The image of a moon appears and disappears in an instant only replaced by white strikes against a deep, almost dark, blue sky."Can you repeat that?"A tree twitches in a dark landscape only backlit by amber lights from beyond the scope."Wind?"A leaf drifts across cold tarmac tarnished by paint and holes. The sound of a dry, light scraping echoes through the ears."Is it cold there?"A building, grey and drab, stands still against a light blue sky. White streaks of cloud drift quickly past in a stuttered motion."You should put on a jacket."Newspapers flutter in an invisible vortex behind the corner of a building only to be quickly replaced by a manhole cover venting steam in the center of a street occupied by darkness, silence, and caramel light."Do you dream good things when you sleep?"A flower blooms, an empty swing sways in great arcs, a fish in a clear container swims in circles after a squirrel runs up a tree with large cheeks."Do you eat food?"Ants crawl across a
Stage 5You know how you can see everything but you can't say everything? I see a lot of things everyday that I can never say, like the man that fell as you drove past on your way to the store. You can't tell anyone you say a man fall because no one will ever see it. Or if they laugh or agree with you, its only at the gesture of watching someone fall.I saw a car dodge an accident yesterday. One foot in any direction and that car wouldn't be driving right now
if it wasn't for the fact it plowed straight into a building. No one was hurt though. But no one will ever believe me. I mean, the driver might believe me but he managed to get out and away.The thing no one will believe me or him about it is that the other car just drove on as if nothing ever happened or could have happened.Just the other day, I watched a man cross the street and drop his wallet. It sat in the middle of the road for three hours with cars and trucks driving over it until it was as flat as the road itself. A woman,
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